SPORTS
Beginning in kindergarten, children commonly begin participating in organized competitive sports. Parent sare often surprised – positively and negatively - at how their children respond. Some are quick to catch on and show an unanticipated aggressiveness and adeptness. Others suddenly become unsure and insecure – even crying when put in the game. Even parents surprise themselves by becoming rabid, judgemental, and aggressive.
It is important for parents to know that how they react will determine, to a large degree, their children’s attitude regarding sports. Every parent wants their child to have fun, but often that goal is thwarted by a stronger desire for their child to be a winner. We’ve all seen parents who are a bit too aggressive from the sidelines, either berating their child for poor play or belittling the refs or opposing players. I understand how difficult it can be to control your zeal when your kid is on the field, but it is important to restrict yourself to positive and encouraging comments.
Competitive sports is a brand new concept for most 5 year-olds. In their early years, the majority of children are taught to cooperate and share. That’s why some children have a hard time catching on to the principles of competition, where sharing will most certainly get you beat. A child new to soccer, for instance, may get their feelings hurt when they are preparing to kick the ball only to have someone else kick it first. They are operating under the play concept where you get to kick it and then I get to kick it. Parents need to understand that this - like almost everything else at this age – is a learning curve. Children are not born knowing the principles of competition and good sportsmanship. Those are things that must be taught.
Patience is the goal that most parents need to reach for. Criticizing your child’s performance is not the same as teaching them the proper techniques and attitudes. If you see that your child is struggling with some aspect of the sport teach them, then be prepared that they will not get it right away. Also be prepared to acknowledge that athletic ability may not be one of your child’s strength. Athletic prowess is a combination of physical, mental, and emotional attributes that can only be taught up to a point. It is common for someone to have one, but not the others. Seeing that your child CAN do something but chooses not to is a significant hurdle for most parents to get over. This is necessary because it is your job to help them find their true gifts and find success with them.
Equally important, if your child is a gifted athlete, your primary parent job is top help them love the game. Coach them in ways that are instructional, not critical. Understand that when you become critical is when they quit listening. Remember, it is the coaches job to be critical and correct poor play on the field. If you want to do that, then you need to volunteer.
It is important for parents to know that how they react will determine, to a large degree, their children’s attitude regarding sports. Every parent wants their child to have fun, but often that goal is thwarted by a stronger desire for their child to be a winner. We’ve all seen parents who are a bit too aggressive from the sidelines, either berating their child for poor play or belittling the refs or opposing players. I understand how difficult it can be to control your zeal when your kid is on the field, but it is important to restrict yourself to positive and encouraging comments.
Competitive sports is a brand new concept for most 5 year-olds. In their early years, the majority of children are taught to cooperate and share. That’s why some children have a hard time catching on to the principles of competition, where sharing will most certainly get you beat. A child new to soccer, for instance, may get their feelings hurt when they are preparing to kick the ball only to have someone else kick it first. They are operating under the play concept where you get to kick it and then I get to kick it. Parents need to understand that this - like almost everything else at this age – is a learning curve. Children are not born knowing the principles of competition and good sportsmanship. Those are things that must be taught.
Patience is the goal that most parents need to reach for. Criticizing your child’s performance is not the same as teaching them the proper techniques and attitudes. If you see that your child is struggling with some aspect of the sport teach them, then be prepared that they will not get it right away. Also be prepared to acknowledge that athletic ability may not be one of your child’s strength. Athletic prowess is a combination of physical, mental, and emotional attributes that can only be taught up to a point. It is common for someone to have one, but not the others. Seeing that your child CAN do something but chooses not to is a significant hurdle for most parents to get over. This is necessary because it is your job to help them find their true gifts and find success with them.
Equally important, if your child is a gifted athlete, your primary parent job is top help them love the game. Coach them in ways that are instructional, not critical. Understand that when you become critical is when they quit listening. Remember, it is the coaches job to be critical and correct poor play on the field. If you want to do that, then you need to volunteer.
