KNOW YOUR CHILD’S TRUE CAPABILITIES
You would never consider punishing your 10 month old because they fell when they were attempting to walk. That’s because you understand that they are just now developmentally ready to walk. So, instead, you choose to celebrate their successes.
For some reason, as our children become toddlers and beyond, we begin to expect them to know things that they have not been taught yet. When a two year-old draws on the wall or drops your cell phone in the toilet, they are just doing what comes naturally. It doesn’t count for misbehavior if the child doesn’t know that it’s wrong. Be careful not to lose your temper or punish them (that includes yelling) for doing something they have not been taught is inappropriate. That makes them feel like they are flawed in some way, because they’re getting in trouble for something they didn’t know was wrong.
This also works the other way. Don’t treat your four year-old like a baby. Self esteem is built by completing challenging tasks that we thought were too hard. Look for ways to challenge your children to accomplish things that stretch their capabilities.
For some reason, as our children become toddlers and beyond, we begin to expect them to know things that they have not been taught yet. When a two year-old draws on the wall or drops your cell phone in the toilet, they are just doing what comes naturally. It doesn’t count for misbehavior if the child doesn’t know that it’s wrong. Be careful not to lose your temper or punish them (that includes yelling) for doing something they have not been taught is inappropriate. That makes them feel like they are flawed in some way, because they’re getting in trouble for something they didn’t know was wrong.
This also works the other way. Don’t treat your four year-old like a baby. Self esteem is built by completing challenging tasks that we thought were too hard. Look for ways to challenge your children to accomplish things that stretch their capabilities.
