STARTING SCHOOL
During my time as a school counselor, I was able to observe the varied emotional reactions to the first day of kindergarten. Excitement, fear, joy, surprise, anger, frustration…..the myriad of emotions could all be seen – and that was just from the parents! Surprisingly, often the kids handled that significant milestone better than the mom or dad who brought them. Sometimes this was due to the child’s independent personality and sometimes due to the parent preparing the child for that important day.
It broke my heart to see the genuine tears and sometimes out-right tantrums of the children who were caught off-guard by the dramatic change in their daily routine. It wasn’t their fault. They were simply responding by doing what had always worked in the previous five years of their life…..crying and/or throwing a fit. Those children had been taught by their parents that crying was the way to get what they wanted. And if it didn’t work at first, then crying louder would be the remedy.
We human beings learn quickly what works, and if crying gets us what we want then crying it is!
Those parents that understand that their children are constantly learning from them will teach their children that asking appropriately – not crying – is the proper way to get what you want. Secondly, and just as important, they teach that sometimes we don’t get what we want.
Crying is an appropriate response to being injured, or being truly frightened, but not because you can’t have a snack or don’t want to finish coloring the class assignment.
It’s important to prepare your child for school by thinking ahead what will be required of your child and practicing that from an early age.
During my time as a school counselor, I was able to observe the varied emotional reactions to the first day of kindergarten. Excitement, fear, joy, surprise, anger, frustration…..the myriad of emotions could all be seen – and that was just from the parents! Surprisingly, often the kids handled that significant milestone better than the mom or dad who brought them. Sometimes this was due to the child’s independent personality and sometimes due to the parent preparing the child for that important day.
It broke my heart to see the genuine tears and sometimes out-right tantrums of the children who were caught off-guard by the dramatic change in their daily routine. It wasn’t their fault. They were simply responding by doing what had always worked in the previous five years of their life…..crying and/or throwing a fit. Those children had been taught by their parents that crying was the way to get what they wanted. And if it didn’t work at first, then crying louder would be the remedy.
We human beings learn quickly what works, and if crying gets us what we want then crying it is!
Those parents that understand that their children are constantly learning from them will teach their children that asking appropriately – not crying – is the proper way to get what you want. Secondly, and just as important, they teach that sometimes we don’t get what we want.
Crying is an appropriate response to being injured, or being truly frightened, but not because you can’t have a snack or don’t want to finish coloring the class assignment.
It’s important to prepare your child for school by thinking ahead what will be required of your child and practicing that from an early age.
