WHEN TRAGEDY STRIKES
As adults, we live with the knowledge that tragedy can occur any time. The simple truth is that none of us has a guarantee on tomorrow. Car accidents, disease, natural disasters, and evil people are just some of the threats to our well-being that we live with daily.
Certainly, there are times when we may dwell on such things which can result in emotional turmoil, but for the most part, most of us choose to not live in fear. We are able to compartmentalize our feelings about such situations so we can go about our day, our life, with purpose and meaning. In spite of our knowledge of life’s vulnerabilities, we are also aware that by living responsibly and thoughtfully, most of will not have to face a terrible calamity.
Adults know these things because our life experiences have taught us so. Our children, on the other hand, do not yet have the benefit of that wisdom. So, they naturally look to the significant adults in their life to determine how to react when tragedy or trauma happens. This presents a great opportunity to teach your child how to react and behave appropriately in the face of inevitable life challenges.
It is important to remember that children thrive on structure and stability. When they feel that is threatened, they often react with fear, anxiety, and anger. The last thing a parent needs during a time of trauma is a child misbehaving due to stress. In such circumstances, parents should be aware of the message they are sending their children by their own actions and attitudes.
It’s always OK to show appropriate emotions and acknowledge the same reaction in your children – that’s good parenting. Crying because we are sad and mourning the loss of a loved one is a good example. But, children react poorly to parents who lose control. They depend on parents to keep them safe and secure – they have no other option. If a child sees that their parent is overwhelmed with emotion, they feel like their security is threatened.
If you need to discharge some intense emotional energy, do so in private. Teach your children how to be strong in the face of the adversities they will inevitably face. Empower them to live a life that is not frozen by fear and anxiety.
As adults, we live with the knowledge that tragedy can occur any time. The simple truth is that none of us has a guarantee on tomorrow. Car accidents, disease, natural disasters, and evil people are just some of the threats to our well-being that we live with daily.
Certainly, there are times when we may dwell on such things which can result in emotional turmoil, but for the most part, most of us choose to not live in fear. We are able to compartmentalize our feelings about such situations so we can go about our day, our life, with purpose and meaning. In spite of our knowledge of life’s vulnerabilities, we are also aware that by living responsibly and thoughtfully, most of will not have to face a terrible calamity.
Adults know these things because our life experiences have taught us so. Our children, on the other hand, do not yet have the benefit of that wisdom. So, they naturally look to the significant adults in their life to determine how to react when tragedy or trauma happens. This presents a great opportunity to teach your child how to react and behave appropriately in the face of inevitable life challenges.
It is important to remember that children thrive on structure and stability. When they feel that is threatened, they often react with fear, anxiety, and anger. The last thing a parent needs during a time of trauma is a child misbehaving due to stress. In such circumstances, parents should be aware of the message they are sending their children by their own actions and attitudes.
It’s always OK to show appropriate emotions and acknowledge the same reaction in your children – that’s good parenting. Crying because we are sad and mourning the loss of a loved one is a good example. But, children react poorly to parents who lose control. They depend on parents to keep them safe and secure – they have no other option. If a child sees that their parent is overwhelmed with emotion, they feel like their security is threatened.
If you need to discharge some intense emotional energy, do so in private. Teach your children how to be strong in the face of the adversities they will inevitably face. Empower them to live a life that is not frozen by fear and anxiety.